Peeves

Peeves

(a Herman and Otto story)

Otto and Herman were sitting on a park bench, watching the cars go by. 

“There goes another one!” grumbled Otto. 

“Another what?” was Herman’s retort already knowing what Otto was going to say. 

“Another speeder,” replied Otto, “Just a bad driver that speeds on roads making them unsafe to walk on or near. Not to mention, the other drivers that do follow the rules of the road.”

This wasn’t a new conversation between Otto and Herman. It happened frequently. 

“Let me ask you,” Herman said, “Have you ever driven over the speed limit while driving a car?”

“Of course I have,” Otto stammered, “but I know what I’m doing, besides if I drive too slow, compared to everyone else, then I’m going to cause an accident when the rest of the world passes me by.” 

Herman was quick to react. “But doesn’t that make you one of the rule-breakers? Shouldn’t you be ticketed and fined?” 

“Absolutely not,” cried Otto. “If I’m going slower than the rest of the cars, even if I’m over the speed limit, it’s the faster cars that should be stopped and fined. If that happened more often, maybe we all would slow down more and follow the rules.”

Herman couldn’t argue with that. “I agree that there is a problem with speeders. I tried to hand signal some drivers that were speeding towards me to slow down while Minna and I were walking in our neighborhood. We were on the edge of the street facing traffic since we have no sidewalks in our development. What happened both times was the drivers gunned their motors and sped up faster past us. And this is not a gender issue, drivers of all genders are the culprits. I’m not sure what we can do about it.”

Otto had a plan for walking in the neighborhood. “It’s not my fault if my walking stick happens to fall out of my hand in the direction of the offender’s windshield when they pass me going too fast.”

Herman just sighed, knowing that Otto talks a radical game, but he’s best at just complaining. “We need more cameras on the road like the red light ones, that can ticket a person via a video feed. That might at least get rid of some of the offenders.” 

Otto replied, “Nobody cares. If they did there would be more citations, which there are not. How many people do you see on the roads that are not only speeding but are on their handheld cell phones at the same time despite the fact that there is a law against that?”

“For once I agree that you’re right, Herman said. “I’m not sure what the answer is either. It’s hard to believe that when we were growing up in the city it was actually safe to play in the streets. Between the paranoia of parents and the crazies out there driving uncontrollably, it just isn’t safe anymore.”

As conversations go this one, as usual, did not come to any resolution. That is usually the way with Herman and Otto, though for this one they agreed more so than usual.  

As they were getting up, they noticed their wives Minna and Lina walking towards them. They could hear both women in a heated conversation themselves.

“If I hear one more person complaining about why we should be getting vaccinated, I’m going to scream!” Minna shouted. 

“They’re saying it because it is the right thing to do.” Lina tried to respond in a much calmer voice.

Herman and Otto just looked at each other and both said at the same time, “Not today.” One disagreement a day was enough for them so they just walked the other way. 

Author’s note: Herman and Otto were the main characters in my A to Z Blog Challenge in 2018. The theme I chose for that year was “Attitudes and Gratitudes” (https://www.hdhstory.net/Storyblog/?p=1053) 

If you would like to read more stories with Herman and Otto start with this link: https://www.hdhstory.net/Storyblog/?p=1087