What My Eyes Saw

What My Eyes Saw

In the last two weeks, I’ve had many of out-of-body experiences. Some were real, as surgeons took things out of my body and stitched or glued them back into other parts of my body. I was totally unaware of such happenings as I was asleep throughout this event. (Thank you, anesthesiologist.)  This is always a good plan, especially if it involves opening your chest up and stopping your heart. 

Coming out of anesthesia, things may happen that you see but don’t necessarily remember. When I saw my doctor the day following surgery, I thought it was for the first time since the surgery. However, the doctor and my wife said we spoke right after the surgery, and I even answered questions. 

I remember some things that went on in my head that I saw during the surgery, even though I was out cold. I remember the whiteboard in my ICU room with different messages written on it. Someone had written the words “5 HOURS” on the board. In my head, I saw the whiteboard clearly with that text and other changes over time; however, I only remember the “5 HOURS” writing part. NO SUCH WRITING WAS ON THE BOARD when I woke up in my room. My surgery did take 6 hours. 

In recovery, before I came to wakefulness, my wife was told that she could go in and talk to me. I don’t recall her being there or what she said. For some reason, I remember making a fist and bending it forward and back several times.  

The next day, when my wife told me about being in the room, she said she was reassuring me that she was there and that everything went well. She mentioned my fist movement. I realized what I must have been doing was signing the word “yes.” Even though I couldn’t see her or speak, I was communicating with her, and she understood that I was agreeing with her.

Now, back in my post-operation rooms and until I was discharged, my eyes got a little weird, and I began seeing things. When I closed my eyes, I would see different patterns of woven cloth from underneath the material that kept changing. I had never seen those images before; they were fascinating patterns to watch. I guess my brain was giving me something nice to help relax me. I haven’t been able to duplicate that vision.

Then came the gnats. They weren’t real gnats, but when I would stare through the windows of my daylight room, the air inside my room was filled with little black dots flying all around it. No one else saw them. And not a few of them, thousands of them. My rational mind attributed them to floaters in my eyes’ fluid. I’ve seen some floaters before, but not this many or this small. My storytelling/folktale mind chose to believe that they were fairy spirits that had been sent to watch over me in my recovery, to keep me safe and help me repair. I’m guessing they were all sent there through all the thoughts and prayers of those who wished me well. I never saw them at night nor when I left the hospital to go home. So, thank you, all to those that shared that gift with me. I haven’t been able to duplicate those, either. 

If I ever have to go for something like this again, would you please add to the requirement that at least some of the spirits know how to cook when they watch over me? Or at least send some of your thoughts to the hospital kitchens. It would improve everyone’s recovery.