A Call to Order

A Call to Order

“This meeting is called to order,” the speaker announced.  Following the pledge by our members to the UGH, unified good health, our CEO Brain has a few comments to make.

As Brain takes the podium, a rustle of sounds can be heard by the assembled parts. 

“It has come to my attention that there have been some complaints coming throughout this body. I called this meeting to air out these complaints. Those who choose will be given the opportunity to speak. Stomach, you have the podium.”

Stomach made his way to the podium, grumbling and gurgling all the way. 

He began, “I have an issue with the foods being digested. Clearly, this body has no concern about its health. Klondike bars at night to lose weight? Absurd. I don’t care where he heard this advice. And the amount of liquid he drinks, it’s minimal, unless he’s working. 

“POINT OF INFORMATION”, called out the intestines and urinary tract simultaneously. “I keep sending him signals,” the intestinal tract explained. “I’ve been very polite so far, but if he continues to eat that way I’ll be blasting more than little toots and I’ll make sure it’s public, let’s just say noticeable.”

There was more grumbling from Stomach now, with the support of the digestive tract as he concluded his comment. 

The next speakers were the eyes. “Our major complaint is the amount of screen time he puts us through. We read his Apple weekly reports. Nine hours a day! No wonder we get blurry after a while and he needs new glasses. This body needs an outdoor active life.”

The brain did interject here that these last two years with Covid might have led to an increase in indoor activity and screen time and questioned whether reading ebooks should have been considered part of screentime. 

The eyes replied, “That may be true for reading, but even before Covid his screen time was over 6 hours a day.”

Muscles were the next to speak. “We’ve got to admit this body does try to keep in shape. At least that’s how he’s set his AppleWatch to report. Most people set their goals for 10,000 steps a day, 600 active calories spent, 30 minutes of exercise. In his case, it’s 6,000 steps, 400 active calories, and 30 minutes of exercise. If it weren’t for walks he takes with his wife even those goals might be hard to reach. And come on…I’m sorry, washing dishes and your hands is not exercise no matter what his AppleWatch thinks. His watch needs to wise up. We’re tired of the complaints that his arm hurts, his calf gets a cramp when he wakes up in the morning, and his foot’s sore. Do some stretches once in a while, why don’t you?”

The final speaker was the heart. “I know the blood pressure and cholesterol meds he’s on is supposed to make it better for me. And last year’s stress tests and cardiologist report came out good. But if he’s in such great shape why do they want to see him every 6 months? All they do is an EKG on him and ask how he’s feeling like he’s going to tell them. “Oh, I feel like someone is attacking me with a chainsaw.” He’s always feeling good and I have to work my pulse off to make sure he does. They need to put an ankle bracelet or some nanites in his bloodstream that report directly to the doctor’s, then they’d get the real picture. 

Everyone having said their piece, the podium was given back to the Brain. 

“Well, it seems we all have similar complaints about this body. It needs to be better-taken care of. I myself have been made aware a number of times through his thoughts that he is concerned at times about its well-being. He is both trying to do better and trying our patience. I must say his intentions seem honorable and his willingness to listen to others is admirable. But his actions and procrastination are questionable.

A copy of the minutes of this meeting will be shared publicly. Hopefully, with our continued efforts to improve said body, and the public response from these minutes, progress will be made. 

On that note, and without further objections, this meeting is adjourned.”

As the members of the body association dispersed and returned to their stations, a feeling of satisfaction pervaded the body. For a time it was relaxed and became more self-aware of the issues that it faced. Potential plans and activities were set in motion and it looked like things were going to improve. As they say in the watch business, “Time will tell”.

Those that are interested in further discussions between my body and me read this piece I wrote in 2018 for a different Mindful Writing group:

https://www.hdhstory.net/Storyblog/?p=1035