To Write or not to Write?

To write or not to write, that is the question.

I won’t grow up, I don’t want to go to school. Just to learn to be a parrot, And recite a silly rule.

When I was younger, by a lot, I wanted to be a writer. I remember wanting to write from as early as first grade. Everything else was peripheral. Yes, I played sports and I learned other stuff in school, but I loved to write. 

For mother’s day, I wrote a poem to my mother… “There will never be another of my sweet mother. I love her night and day. And even when I’m far away.” I’m not sure how young I was when I wrote that, but judging from the handwriting, I’d have to think about 6 years old. 

As I grew older and more things were introduced to me I got involved in other school subjects, but deep down I still loved to write. 

In Junior High School, I distinctly remember writing stories based on the book series, Tom Corbett Space Cadet, where I became the main character and other students in my class took on the roles of other characters in the series. Alas, once I shared this piece of writing with my English teacher it was never returned, so there are no copies left. 

A similar thing occurred in High School when I rewrote the story Treasure Island from the point of view of being there myself. In fact, it was due to my expertise that Jim Hawkins did all the things he was supposed to do. But that too is lost to what I’m going to assume was the teacher’s love of the story, and is archived somewhere in her basement as I have done to some of my students’ written work.

In my late high school years and college, writing became a therapy tool, whereby if something was bothering me, it would become a piece of semi-fictional writing. This was the case with, “What would happen if my father became president,” which my father loved, but the rest of the family, who understood that I was making fun of him, hated. I also wrote a piece about the place that I was working at, and what kind of things I could have done to disrupt their operation. Luckily I was the only one who ever read it. The therapy worked and I got rid of a lot of frustration. 

After college as a teacher, I kept journals of every year I taught, focusing on expectations, goals, and anxieties. Re-reading some of them, now that I’m retired, makes me understand how naive I was back then, and also reminds me of all the things I accomplished. 

In retirement now and being a storyteller has opened up new avenues for my writing. For now, I write everything and anything I want. Having prompts like this one help. Doing the A to Z blog challenge every April where I have to publish a piece of writing every day (except Sundays) also tests my ability to create. I love it. 

And though I have grown up, that little child in me that wanted to share his writing with others has not. And I’m thankful for it.

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The Wait is On

The Wait is on

Wait for it…Wait for it…And…got it. Wow! That was a long wait. But I finally got what I was waiting for…The next number I have to call. 

They say that patience is a virtue. Well, it’s also a pain in the, well you know what. There are times that it is valuable to wait. For example, you are waiting for your tea water to boil. We all know that a watched pot never boils. But seriously…

There are plenty of times when patience does help you physically. You are sitting in your car going 5 mph because the car in front of you is going well under the speed limit. Patience, in this case, may get you to your destination a little late, but the potential hazard of speeding past the car on a one-lane road and encountering another vehicle can do serious damage, not to mention the stress of making that maneuver. Of course, there is the stress you feel of being late to your meeting that might counteract the stress of a driving accident. Be patient. Which outcome is less life-threatening? 

I’m known as being a patient person. I try to let people finish what they are saying before I jump in and throw in my ideas. That is unless I have to let them know my thoughts which are needed to be heard at that moment… “Your pants are on fire!”. 

I was once told by a colleague at one of my faculty meetings that if I didn’t raise my hand right away as soon as a thought popped into my head, and actually gave other people time to think, they would come up with the same conclusions I had reached and I wouldn’t be considered the gadfly of meetings. That wasn’t easy for me to do, but I tried.

Patience is definitely good when standing in a line or being stuck in traffic. There’s not much you can do, so why push yourself. Just sit back (or stand there) and talk to someone to pass the time. This happens a lot when I’m driving by myself. And it’s great, I don’t get interrupted by other impatient people or the other drivers that I’m talking to that clearly aren’t hearing me. 

I’m planning on voting in person during this upcoming election. I’m also planning for a long wait in line. Maybe I’ll get a chance to finish that book on tape that I’ve been listening to. And, if my wife goes with me, I’m sure we will have lots to talk about, planning that trip we can’t go on…yet, not to mention all the house jobs that have to be done. 

So my advice is to be patient. It never hurts to slow things down and just wait and give things time to pass. Like this piece of writing.

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Trapped!

Trapped!

It was a dark and stormy night. Not really, though it was dark. I never expected to be stuck in this situation. No lights, no phone, no way of escape without help. What was I to do? 

Let me backtrack a little to give you a better picture. I was an old man. I had been at home minding my own business when I felt a slight pain in my chest. Living by myself there was no one around to complain about it to. Well, the pain grew in intensity. Next thing I knew I was gasping for breath. I tried to get to the phone to call for help, but couldn’t reach it. I heard a knocking at the door and then screaming. There were sirens in the background and then nothing. 

Then came the long wait, or at least it seemed like a long time. When I finally became cognizant of my surroundings, everything felt odd as if I was floating in something. I couldn’t move very far. Twisting and turning a bit was all I was capable of. It was like I was tied down. And I wasn’t the only one there it seemed, but there was no way to communicate. And as I said it was dark. So here I am.

But wait, now there is something pushing at me. I seem to be moving forward. And yes I can feel the light, though not see it. I’m being forced through a very small opening and then dropped on the ground. I’ve been saved. I can breathe again, someone is cleaning all the gunk that I’m covered with. I find it hard to stand up and move. Crawling on all fours seems my only choice. 

My eyes finally open. Though everything is a bit blurry at first, I can see that I’m in a big room. I’m also very small. What could have happened? Wait, I see a mirror across the room. Let me get a look at myself. Someone is picking me up and carrying me over to the mirror. 

OH NO! I’m..I’m… a CAT!

This can’t be true. It can’t be happening. I try to call for help but all I can get out of my mouth is…Meow. 

Researcher’s note: Dateline: 2045-10-10, Timestamp: 1545:36  – Our computer just lost the signal to the test subject’s human brain understanding. Hopefully, with the new upgrade from Apple that we’ve ordered, that should come next week, we will be able to continue this research and understand the full transference of consciousness in the resurrection process.

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An Open Door

An Open Door

It’s not a very long road to travel. First, you have to pull back from the reality that you are in. You do that by sometimes closing your eyes. Sometimes that is not necessary, in that case, your path is free and your door is already open and you step in without knowing you have. The key to realizing that you have reached your destination is that all sights and sounds have been replaced by others that usually are not connected to where you thought you were.

Should you realize where you are, you can then control the direction that you wish to take. Sometimes it’s easy because you have been given a clue as to where you can go and you make a choice. Other times it is a bit more convoluted and you don’t have control and must just follow where you are taken.
In the past, a famous TV personality codified the entrance through this door. It went something like this: You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead – your next stop…

And then you are there. Once in the door, anything can happen. Your creative mind can take you to known places and you can experience things that have happened before. Or it can take you to places that look familiar yet are not and on adventures both wonderful and dangerous. And then there are times it can place you in a future world that is filled with horrors of potential reality. The places you can go are endless. The best of times is when you are free to explore new ideas and creations. That, is what is in store for you when you enter the path to your imagination.

The outside world sees a different picture. If you are awake, in a crowd, at a meeting, at a meal, you look glazed over, which can at times confuse and scare people. They might tend to pull back through the door into their reality. This might be helpful, if say, you are driving a car. Otherwise, it can be very frustrating.

If you enter when you are sleeping, only you are there. No one else knows unless they are watching your eyelids or you’re making some motions in reaction to what you’re experiencing and interfering with their sleep and their own visits to their imagination. Unfortunately, those visits to your imagination, tend to be temporary, for when you return, it doesn’t take long before you can’t recall where you have been.

As a writer, it is the best place to be. For therein lies the fountain of all your work. All you need is a little encouragement to go there and let the words flow. In my case, the door to my imagination is always open and that fountain of creativity and ideas is overflowing. Not a bad place to spend my time when I can.

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Marco the Magnificent

Marco the Magnificent

He was named Marco the Magnificent on the day he was born, a very apt name you could tell.

Though he could not yet talk, with a wave of his hand, he could summon his wants with a spell.

Not like witches would brew in a cauldron filled through with all sorts of mysterious things.

But with thoughts of great charms and a movement of arms, he’d produce gifts that were fit for kings. 

As Marco grew older his creations got bolder and requests he accepted were great

“Make a toy”, “Make me strong”, “Make me write a new song”. “Make me anything quick I can’t wait.”

And he did, make it all, whether big or quite small, and charged such a minimal price.

For he was just a kid and enjoyed what he did and for all, he just acted quite nice.

But then came the day, he was twenty they say, that a man came to him and did tell.

You make trinkets for all, but for me, come this Fall, I want armies and weapons as well.

For I plan to use power, make this country cower, and become the new king of the land.

Let them all bow to me, let them beg, let them plea, let them worship the ground where I stand.

Marco, kind though he was, he did not like this cause, this man had an evil desire.

Should he do as was told, or refuse and be bold, he stood still and began to perspire.

But the man sensing fear knew that victory was near, as he pulled out a very sharp knife. 

The man he did gloat, the knife to Marco’s throat, “Give me all that I ask or your life”

Marco thought good and hard, as he played his last card, “I will do as you ask” he explained.

He’d come up with a plan, the man loosened his hand, and then Marco he felt less restrained

With a thought in his head, he broke loose and then said, as his hand pointed down to the ground.

“You’ll have armies galore, and great strength on the floor, as you crawl as an ant and get crowned.”

And so it was done, not that it was much fun, his joy to create had now gone

Creating’s no thrill when it’s things that can kill, and you’re asked to do things that are wrong.

Now Marco is old and the truth can be told that he doesn’t cast spells anymore.

He just sits in his home and rarely does roam, where he lives by himself near the shore. 

Marco the Lame is his only used name, which he feels now suits him quite well 

For he cares not for fame, it was only a game, till it got to be more than a spell.

When you do things for less, there are those that will guess, you are easy to trick, They are cruel.

Though it’s better to let them deserve what they get, best do nothing, and don’t be their tool. 

So take care all you folk, for this tale is no joke, teach your child when quite young to beware

And before someone dies, just like Marco be wise, and do not create things from thin air.

 

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You’ve Got a Friend in Me…

You’ve Got a Friend in Me…

When I was growing up, my father always used to tell me that I had no friends, I only had acquaintances. I thought I had friends. Growing up through elementary school there was David K., Ronald M., and Mark R. from school, and in the neighborhood and my apartment building, there was Juda A., Donny R., and my next-door neighbors Bernie F. and Robby K. They were always close in age to me and I did play with them. However, were they friends? 

I had a lot more people I interacted with in Junior High School and High School, though the only ones that I remember actually doing things with were Juda and Jeffrey F. I went over to their houses and Juda went to mine also. Does that define them as friends?

When college came along there were a whole new set of people that I interacted with, too many to name, though I remember most of their names. 

Following college, there were colleagues in teaching and technology consulting. Parents of some of my students. And other people connected to me through my music and writing organizations and groups. But are they just colleagues and acquaintances or are they friends? Or both? 

According to the Mirriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of “friend” is: 1.a favored companion 2. one attached to another by affection or esteem. 3. acquaintance. 

On Facebook, I have 595 friends. Some of those people are family (not friends), others are connected in some way through my life experiences or interests. Three of those friends that are from my junior high school/high school days. They obviously remembered me when I discovered them and I requested them to be friends, though when I knew them growing up, I didn’t do much with them outside of school. One of them, Steve, was a character that I put into one of my pieces of writing in 7th grade, which he did remember.  Seven of my Facebook friends are from my freshman and sophomore years at college. They do remember me, though most of their Facebook posts are done publicly rather than specific to me. 

And I have lots and of people that are teachers, storytellers, writers, musicians, parents, and the like that I have known and worked with, and others that may know of me but have never met me, and those that might know me through my writing or telling, but have met me only virtually or at conferences. And then there are those that just accept my friend request, as they do everyone that asks, and have no clue who I am. 

So the question to still ask is do I have real friends? Which is what my father was inferring when I was young. The answer is I have no idea. 

That is not exactly true. I consider a number of people that I know as true friends. There are a handful of people that I communicate with and we share life experiences together. At the top of that list is Christina, my wife. Even if we weren’t married, I would still seek her out to share my life with, turn to, give and receive comfort in times of need. After that, there would have to be Bill S., Nancy W., Toni T., Sylvia K., and my daughter-in-law’s parents. These are all people that I’ve worked with and continue to interact with. And by interaction, I don’t mean a one-way street.  It’s not just me being the one that makes all the contact, though at times it seems that way. There may be more that I might have missed. I’m sure if they read this they’ll remind me.

And then there are the others. I would like to consider them friends, but to me being a friend is a mutual thing. At times it seems that any interaction with some colleagues and friends from a previous time in my life only happens when I initiate the contact or am in a group with them. We certainly act friendly towards each other and share stuff with each other at that time, but if we’re not in a group together at any other time, we don’t interact. So are they friends or acquaintances, as my father had defined everyone I interacted with?

Maybe I’m being very self-centered. Maybe the definition of a friend should be much broader. Maybe the definition of “friend” is a fluid one. One that defines itself at any given moment in time, for certainly there are modified versions of “friend” such as life-long friends, which clearly, though not for a full lifetime, I have some. There are also common experience friends as well as common age/time period friends. Those last types of friends may be long-lasting as remembrances, but over time are just that, memories. Friends that either by distance or time have moved on to other friendships. 

So how do you define “a friend”? And if a person is on your list, would you be on their list? 

As for me, maybe we should just use the criteria for a friend, that Randy Newman used in the movie, Toy Story, that being mutual support and caring:

You’ve got a friend in me

Yeah, You’ve got a friend in me

You’ve got troubles, I’ve got ‘em too.

There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you

We stick together and we see it through

Cause you’ve got a friend in me. 

 

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River of Change

River of Change*

One thing about rivers is that they can be dangerous. Living near a river during a rainstorm can bring untold damage to your house and neighborhood when the banks overflow. The pounding of the winds and the crashing of the water upon where you reside is a great destroyer of life. 

That is the case in some places in reality now as we face unprecedented rivers of water, fire, and ignorance. 

Flooding due to hurricanes is swamping cities and towns in the south as I write. Fires are not only destroying areas of the west but the smoke from those fires is spreading throughout the world creating a river of unbreathable air. 

And then there is the damage that is being caused by the most dangerous of all rivers: ignorance and blind faith. Our nation is succumbing to the rising waters of false belief. As global warming and the COVID pandemic scourge our planet, there are those people, and not a small number of them, that refuse to accept reality. They believe in the false prophecies of the self-centered know-it-alls, whether they be politicians, news organizations, or conspiracy groups – who, in fact, ignore it all. Meanwhile, those of us who are grasping onto science and real data lifeboats are struggling to stay afloat as the pounding of the floodwaters of ignorance rise higher. 

Such is the cost of the river’s flow. Can we stem the tide? Can we fight to put the river back in its place, where logic and reason allows us to be hopeful again? Where we can drift along to a safer and a more accepting future. Only time will tell. Until then we must continue to fight to stay afloat. Let the waters of ignorance lose their power and recede from the banks of humanity.  Be strong. Be safe. We will prevail.

*Note: A revised and edited version of this piece was published as a Letter to the Editor in Newsday on September 23, 2020.

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The Invite

The Invite

    I wasn’t sure. Should I take the plunge and dive right in? I knew there was a large possibility of failure, as I had not much success in these situations. It was a week after Hurricane Gloria had hit. Not everyone had their power back. I wasn’t even sure if I got the invitation correctly. It was only a verbal invite. But Barbara did say come to her house and join her for their house party that Saturday night and not to bring anything. She was a party person and it was through my Contra Dance playing that I got the invite. So the hope was that being there I would know other people and it wouldn’t be as threatening as if I were the only unknown. 

    The party was to start at 9:00. As I tentatively drove through the darkened, powerless streets every possible thing that could go wrong went through my head. Was I really invited? Did I get the date and time correct? Who else was going to be there? 

    I was a little early arriving at their house and noticed that there were only a couple of cars in the driveway. Not a good sign. All my usual fears of uncertainty were activated. 

    So did I boldly go where no me has ever gone? The correct answer is no, I did not. I decided to leave before I even got out of my car. My insecurities at being embarrassed temporarily got the best of me. 

    Now in normal situations like this, I would have just driven home. I knew Barbara had invited a number of other people to the party, so me not being there wouldn’t have been noticed, probably. I got about a mile away from their house when I decided I would wait a while. I waited for about half an hour, well past the supposed start of the party, and then summoned up what courage I had and drove back to her house. 

    On returning, there were now more cars in their driveway and on the street. A good sign. So I decided to go in.

    Barbara shared a house with 6 other housemates, none of which I knew except one woman that I had seen on the dance floor at some of the Contra dance events, and who I may have even danced with once at one of them. Her name was Christina.

    It turned out that Christina and I danced a lot more than just one dance that night. When we said goodbye at the end of the evening, we said we would speak again. And the surprising thing about that conversation, unlike others I had had in previous encounters with the opposite sex, we did in fact, communicate again. 

On October 5th, we will celebrate the 35th anniversary of our meeting and I will have known her half of my life. Sometimes it’s good to have concerns and worries about doing something or taking risks and then there are other times when you need to trust yourself and dive right in. I’m glad on October 5th, 1985, I took the plunge.

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Midnight

Midnight

I shouldn’t have opened the package. It clearly stated do not open until midnight. But I’m a curious person; I have no patience; I am impulsive. So I opened the package and it was empty.

Do Not Open Until Midnight

    She promised me that all my wishes would be granted. That the riches that I desired would be attained. I just had to wait until midnight. 

    Was it a lie? Was it a test? What would have happened had I waited until the appointed hour. I’ve read a number of folktales about a fisherman brought to the underground palace of the Sea King, who falls in love with the King’s daughter. He returns home temporarily to see his family one last time and is given a gift by the princess which he is told not to open. He eventually does open it and loses everything. Why didn’t I learn from that story?

    It had been a chance meeting at a social gathering. She was being bothered by others. I stepped in and freed her from her torment and was rewarded by an evening of companionship and pleasure. And then came the gift. It was a plain cardboard box, sealed with tape, and with a simple request, do not open until midnight and all you seek will be found. Her hands in mine, her beautiful hypnotizing face, her sweet-sounding voice, my eyes glazed over, staring at her and then the box. Hands released and then she was gone and I return home with the package. 

    An empty box! What could it have held? I never even got her name. So here I sit, both forlorn and confused. Did it really happen?

    As the clock strikes midnight, there is a knock at my door. With much anticipation, I go to the door and throw it open. There stands a portly man in brown clothing. In his hand is a package with an arrow in the shape of a smile on it. He hands me a package and a letter. He leaves.

    I close the door and slowly open the letter. It reads, “I knew you couldn’t wait. You get what you deserve.”

I pick up the package and open it. In it is a gift certificate for Amazon, with a picture of a wallet that looks exactly like mine. There’s another note which says, “To replace the one you lost. Thanks for the fun evening. It’s usually not this easy.”

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The Love of Spinach

The Love of Spinach

“I’m strong to the finish, cause I eats me spinach, I’m Popeye the sailor man.” Toot, Toot.

I grew up watching the Popeye cartoon every time it came on TV.  Of course, that influenced my enjoyment of eating spinach. Who wouldn’t want to be strong to the finish? On closer examination of Popeye, I am glad that it was only the spinach that I admired. Granted eating spinach did not make me strong to the finish, let alone the middle or even the beginning, but it tasted good, especially since my mom always made creamed spinach, which was much tastier than straight up boiled spinach. In the Bronx, where I grew up, I don’t remember my mother ever getting, if was even available, fresh spinach. We always ate the packaged frozen variety. 

Back to Popeye. His physical appearance was not one that I ever wanted to emulate. Though he was strong, his arms were definitely deformed. They were skinny at parts and bulky at others, especially after he downed a can of spinach. Also, who wouldn’t want an animated picture showing up on your arm after consuming a vegetable. Well, to be honest, tattoos were never my thing, though having a video screen on my arm would have been cool. It is interesting to note, that now, with my Apple watch I do have a video screen on my wrist. But having one built in instead of strapped on would have been a perk growing up. 

Then there was Popeye’s pipe. It certainly looked cool. I might have had a fake corn cob pipe to pretend with, but as with tattoos, smoking has never been my thing. I have through the years collected a number of instruments, like train whistles and bird calls, that when blown through, as Popeye used to do with his pipe, make noises or emulate real sounds. 

And finally, there was Popeye’s language and speech patterns. His favorite thing to do was to mutter under his breath a commentary on his reactions to what people were either doing or saying to him. It wasn’t until I was much older that I understood all the innuendos of the things he was saying, certainly nothing that a child should be muttering out loud, without risking some parental consequences. I must say that in that regard, I do tend to mutter to myself or others nearby some of my thoughts and reactions, when things are said or done near me, though not in the vulgar Popeye sense. This happens a lot while I’m driving. In that respect, sometimes they may get a little vulgar and suggestive. You all know what an enema is. But these are never shared aloud to the perpetrators of said actions and most of the time, they are only said in my head. 

So I’m glad that of all these actions and characteristics of Popeye that the one that stays closest to me is spinach. That’s because as Popeye would say, “I yam, what I yam.” Then again, yams are a whole different story. 

 

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