P – Perceptions

If you are just starting to read this, you might first want to go back to the beginning of this story – M – Mother’s Fault. https://www.hdhstory.net/Storyblog/?p=5059

When we last met, I filled you in on the background of Clara’s mother and father. Now let’s return to the cafe in the city where Clara has just discovered her mother, whom she thought was dead.

P – Perceptions

(part 4 of 4 of Clara’s Tale)

It was like staring into a mirror. The only thing that Clara could say was, “MOM?”

Her mother looked at her with kind, sympathetic eyes. “Is that what your father told you? It was probably for the best. You would not have understood, as he did not understand, why he sent me away. We all needed time to reflect and grow.”

Clara took this in. It didn’t make any sense. “I’m old enough now, so tell me.”

Clara’s mother took a deep breath and began her story. 

“We were in love once, your father and I,” she started, “then you came along. Your father wanted a son, and I wanted a child. I belonged to a group of women who believed in a concept called the ‘Divine Feminine’. It was a group that believed that everyone had within them a spirit, one that encourages intuition, nurturing, receptivity, and creativity. We would meet regularly and celebrate nature, the seasons, the phases of the moon, and reflect on our lives. 

There is also a concept called the ‘Divine Masculine’, which is associated with qualities such as action, logic, protection, and leadership. 

We have both of those within us, and the task is to balance them for a fulfilling life. 

After you were born, I tried to instill those qualities in you. You were very young and learned fast. 

Unfortunately, when your father happened upon one of our meetings, he only heard us from the outside and saw what he saw, without interpretation. In his eyes, we were a cult. He believed I was a witch. For that reason, he told me to leave. His eyes were clouded. He wouldn’t listen to the truth nor believe it even if I could have explained it to him. So I left. 

In my heart, I believed that there would come a time when you were old enough that we would meet again, and I could explain.”

Clara sat there and took it all in. She could feel the resentment at having been lied to, but she also understood what her mother was saying. She fondly remembered the travels through nature and the stories her mother told her. She also remembered the bond she had with her mother. Maybe this meeting with her mother was the connection that she was looking for.

“What do you have to do with The Magic Castle store?”

“I own it,” her mother replied. “If ever I was going to find you again, I hoped that you would be curious should you ever come to the city and see a magic store. It took a while, but my hopes came true. The question is, What do we do now?”

As her mother had been talking, Clara was already coming up with a plan. When she explained it, her mom was not only impressed that Clara could come up with it, but that it just might work. 

Clara went back home and said nothing to her father, other than that it was a good trip. She learned a lot about being independent. 

A week later, Clara came home from the library and said that they were going to have a presentation on ‘Perceptions of the World and Living a Good Life’. Clara wanted the family to go. She convinced her father and brother that it would be enlightening.

So the family went. It was well attended. There were two speakers that evening. The first speaker spoke about different spiritual ways to revere nature. He talked about the Divine Masculine and how it is part of everyone’s being. Action, Logic, Protection, and Leadership are its qualities. 

As he spoke, Sam looked down at Joseph and smiled. This was something he could believe in. This is what he was trying to instill in his son. 

The speaker went on to introduce speaker number two. “Our next speaker will speak about the Divine Feminine. She will show how each of us, regardless of our gender designation, holds both of these qualities within us. She will refer to ways we can look at our inner selves to balance them and restore wholeness within ourselves.

Clara could see her father nodding his head in approval. 

He turned to Clara, with a smile, and said that he was glad she had invited him to come. “We can all learn from this,” he said to her.

Clara just smiled. 

And that’s when Clara’s mother stepped out as the next speaker. 

Clara watched as her father’s jaw dropped. He was about to get up and leave, but Clara put her hand on his shoulder and whispered, “Let her speak.”

So he listened as she talked about the Divine Feminine. He listened as she shared that we all have both Masculine and Feminine in us. She talked about ways in which people practice reaching these qualities – through meditation, through mindfulness, through yoga, through meeting with others and sharing their experiences, sometimes by lighting candles and reaching for your inner calm self. Sometimes, by using cards, such as Tarot cards, as a tool for self-reflection, not prediction. To examine fears, motivation, feelings, and desires. She equated them to a structured journaling prompt. And then she stopped talking, asked for the lights in the library to dim, asked the audience to close their eyes, and try to find their own spirits.

Clara looked up to her father, as did her brother, and her mother at the podium. There were tears in his eyes. All he could say was “I’m sorry.”