{"id":4718,"date":"2025-07-10T05:08:32","date_gmt":"2025-07-10T09:08:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/?p=4718"},"modified":"2025-08-11T10:48:04","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T14:48:04","slug":"the-look-a-pictorial-essay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/?p=4718","title":{"rendered":"The Look (a pictorial essay)"},"content":{"rendered":"

The writing prompt for this piece was “Unasked for critique.”<\/em><\/p>\n

The Look<\/strong><\/span> (A<\/span> pictorial essay)<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

We all know the look. You know, the one that your parents gave you growing up, that had multiple meanings. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou best not be doing what I think you’re doing!\u201d <\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not going out, looking like that.\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you lying to me?\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou did something wrong, and you know what I\u2019m talking about.\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My mom passed away at 84 years old in 1998, so I can\u2019t ask her about \u201cthe look\u201d I got whenever she wanted to let me know something that I obviously couldn\u2019t hide from her. I decided to go back through our family pictures and to see what I could discover about \u201cthe look\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here are my findings:<\/span><\/p>\n

——–<\/p>\n

My mother was the youngest of <\/span>six children. In this picture, you can see a family photo (my uncle Samuel passed away before this picture was taken). <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

My mother is sitting on my Great-grandmother\u2019s lap. Notice the eyes of all the other women. They\u2019ve all already got the look on their faces. It appears to be a learned trait. My mother has not had any training yet, as you can see by her expression. <\/span><\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As my mother grew older, it didn\u2019t take her long to learn how to manipulate people with a look. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

My mother is the second from the left on the top row of this class picture. Notice the deadpan stare. She can\u2019t look at the boy next to her, but her hand on his shoulder is sending a message: \u201cDon\u2019t mess this up.\u201d The teacher\u2019s expression is not one of great enthusiasm to be near her, either. He\u2019s seen that stare from my mom before. <\/span><\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Back at home, you\u2019ve got the three sisters, my Aunt Susi,  my Aunt Gerda, and my mom. They are all practicing a different look.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Aunt Susi – \u201cYeah, like I care.\u201d Aunt Gerda – \u201cWhat do you think you are planning?\u201d My mom – \u201cDon\u2019t even think about doing that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Again, where did this all come from? Clearly, from my grandmother Lina. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here is a picture of my grandparents with my mom and Uncle Joe (the middle child of the family)<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Everyone is trying to smile, that is, except my grandmother. She has the look. She\u2019s saying, \u201cI don\u2019t think I like this, so you are going to do it again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Notice in this picture, my grandmother is smiling. She\u2019s looking right at the camera. But not my mom. She\u2019s practicing the I\u2019m not going to look at you, but you know I\u2019m watching look. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My grandmother trained my mom well. Look at her with her hand on her hip; that look of confidence and control, as my grandfather has the look of benign compliance. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Does that stance and look of my grandmother look familiar?<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That was growing up in Germany. Now we are in America. Here\u2019s my mom practicing her look on my dad. Try to surmise what she is planning. Look out, Dad!<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

When my sister Marion, her first daughter, was born, my mom had plans for her. So many looks to teach her.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I was born, look at the pleasing look (eyes looking off to the side) that my mom had on, knowing that she finally had a child to utilize her skill with \u201cthe look.\u201d Notice the look on my face, even at that age, realizing that this pleasant face had some hidden secrets behind it, and that I had better learn what those looks mean. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then David came in 1993. Another grandchild to exploit with \u201cThe look.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, so you don\u2019t want to look at me,\u201d she thinks. \u201cTwo can play that game, and I have more practice than you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But having more than one grandchild can be a bit overwhelming, especially in your 80s. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

——–<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s my research into \u201cthe Look.\u201d It\u2019s a pity she never taught it to me; it seems to be only passed on to the females of the species. I would ask my wife about it, but I\u2019ve already seen the looks on her and her mom’s faces, and trust me, I’ve got the message. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The writing prompt for this piece was “Unasked for critique.” The Look (A pictorial essay) We all know the look. You know, the one that your parents gave you growing up, that had multiple meanings.  \u201cYou best not be doing … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,7],"tags":[26,177],"class_list":["post-4718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-story-writing","tag-family-history","tag-writing-prompt"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4718"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4758,"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4718\/revisions\/4758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hdhstory.net\/Storyblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}